As my semester at school came to an end, I found myself worrying about work, yet again. Granted I still have my position at an international giant for the summer, but I also had to look for side work. Thus came time for me to reinstate my job at Lord and Taylor. And this is the beginning of the end of my summer.

Upon entering the store from the mall (yes it is a mall job and yes it pays only 7.10 an hour, but I need money and this s better than salad tossing on a street corner) you are hit with this immense cloud of makeup and perfume. Ladies hard up for commission spraying JLO and Armani in your face to try and get you to sell your soul to Hollywood's will. Faces so caked with makeup you only wonder if one or two were dug up from a casket and painted up. And then you have the clothing sections, jewelery to the back, shoes immediately to your right, people rummaging through piles of clothing deciding on either salmon or bisque colored cashmere, and the sound of a voice screaming in my head "atleast salad tossing gives you 5 minutes of respect!"

Granted, I have resented the place many a time, but other moments are fun. I get to work with my best friend tatiana and threatening to yank out her dyed blonde hair one by one in front of a customer is something that jsut puts a smile on my face. The folding isn't bad, it's when you have really nasty uppity walking caskets that come around and stare at you as they undo atleast one pile to search for the size they desire. Usually i find the article of clothing tossed on the floor of the dressing room and I sneer in disgust. Women, in general, are pigs when you do not watch them. Not all women, but ones you would least expect this behavior from. Ladies pushing baby strollers rip of the tags and stuff them under the baby and stroll right the fuck out of the store. This is truly sickening, forcing this child without a will to hide your dishonesty and lack of dignity. But, alas, there is nothing we can do about it.

This place is the core of a frustrating world for me. I already generally lose it pretty easily, but so many triggers are lurking around the floor and sometimes my lip almost bleeds snice I bite it so often to avoid confrontation and possibility of losing my temporary income.

The dress code is pretty simple. Eitehr a skirt and top or pants and two piece top. I've seen people take advantage of this and wear an extremely tight shirt over their gut *not a small one either* and noticing this makes my stomach turn. But that's okay, it's their grave anyways. Overall, I discovered I can actually handle the skirts once or twice a week, and no one is hurt by me.

Coupons are flat out, a bitch. You can have some 35 to 50 year olds tear you a new asshole and then drink the blood if you don't give them a motherfucking coupon. There have been times when people corner you, telling you that YOU CAN get them one when in reality, you really don't have any at all. One woman raised so much hell for me that I had to call over 2 managers and then beat it the hell out of there before the Hulk emerged completely. Atleast I got respect for the way I handled it.

I guess that's all I wanted to say about the summer job of my personal hell, it pays shit, I look like a girl for once, and it give my friends and boyfriend a good laugh. But you wait soon you bastards. Wait for me to get my car, and after I run you all down let's just see who gets the last laugh.

We posterers are not dead. It's school that holds us back.<br />
<br />
<3

I know you jerks most certainly miss me. Yes of course.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Sorry I haven't posted up anything lately, especially with so many crazy ideas running through my head. Most of my energy is channeled into schoolwork and stepping on boys. I still love you posterers insanely and I also send out a special loverubbing/grinding sensation to Kev whom I absolutely adore.<br />
<br />
I will return.

The other day, my mother was in the middle of a full blown coniption fit when I looked at her and said;<br />
<br />
<br />
"Well mom, for those 30 seconds of unprotected pleasure you had, you have to suffer a lifetime of misery."<br />
<br />
My dad startnig laughing, then stopped and yelled;<br />
<br />
"HEY!!!"<br />
<br />

Once in awhile when I pick up the phone, I hear a minute long greeting in Turkish that starts off with my mother's name in a high pitched tone. <br />
<br />
It hurts my ears sometimes...<br />
<br />
Today I was eating dinner with my family and my brother's girlfriend when the phone rang and I answered it:<br />
<br />
"suefigusaerf67w8q3r6786&amp;*^&amp;^$%&amp;^$%^$^*DGJSHUTU YET^W&amp;E%&amp;^@#EGUG blah blah blah "<br />
<br />
<i> By the way, I already feel like a dick for never learning Turkish despite the fact that it's my mother's culture and I've been there a few times.</i><br />
<br />
Instead of holding the usual polite conversation ground, I was blubbered out the first thing that came to my mind..<br />
<br />
"WHAT?" As in 'what do you want?' not 'what are you saying?' A flabbergasted voice responded,<br />
<br />
"oh shit, HEy jess you sound just like your mother!!" It was my mother's middle aged Turkish friend.<br />
<br />
"I have bronchitis, what's wrong with you!?"<br />
<br />
Another hint for me to relax.<br />
<br />
I also decided to be an ass and snag a livejournal that's actually public this time. The last time I had one, it was after another dating fiasco and I kept thoughts recorded but I soon made everything on there completely private. The new name of my project? I don't know yet. Maybe you people can help me. I'm attempting to base the majority of my journal on my attempt to NOT date anyone this summer. The second I made that rule for myself I had two prospects and I blew it in order to stick by a boundry I created on my own. That and I've decided to try and establish a site again with Brent *the digitalevil kid* and I need ideas for a site name. <br />
<br />
Livejournal url: <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/ispfemme/">http://www.livejournal.com/users/ispfemme/</a><br />
<br />
BYEBYE

Since I switched to a new neurologist who actually LOOKS at his patients when he talks to them and doesn't blow them off, I've started what may become a new series of tests on my back. Today was the first MRI I've had in a long time and it was primarily focused on the lower right side of my back.<br />
<br />
I awoke to the sounds of my cell phone alarm going off at 6am and was on the road by 6:55. Now the area I live in forces me to rely on the quickest possible path to I95, which unfortunately lies in the bowels of Trumbull. As I pass through the yuppie area, I end up fiercely slamming on my brakes do to the unexpected back up. Like the asshole I am, I completely neglected the fact that there are, not one or two, but THREE schools on Daniels Farm ROad and I hit the area just when buses were leaving one andkids were driving to another.....it was just a mess. I spent a solid fifteen min just waiting there as some idiot cop did a shit job directing traffic *I can safely assume he hasn't been doing it for very long* before I finally moved on past that event. <br />
<br />
I finally reach 25 and take it to I95. BAM It's backed up and I'm stuck for over a half hour. I get off at a familiar exit and realize I recognize NOTHING in the area what with all the insane construction going on. I call the place for my MRI and they just fumbled over giving me directions. Somehow I ended up figuring out how to get my silly ass there on my own and get to my appointment 20 min late. They asked me to be there 15 min early.<br />
<br />
So I finally get to the MRI room and remember the nightmare that was the last one. As I lay there I felt like I was in a coffin and my ears were ringing because the earplugs weren't in right. My right side began to throb and it was then, that I realized that perhaps I do need anger management. I was STARING down the plexiglass that resided 2 or 3 inches from my face. I was getting so pissed off at the buzzing that resembled old Nintendo games, the loud knocking, and the VERY loud machine gun like cracking. I'm not claustrophobic, but hell. I was ready to jump out of there and start throwing punches if anyone tried stopping me.<br />
<br />
When I finished, I got up, pull the earplugs out, and tried to listen as the nurse was giving me instructions. Too bad for her, I couldn't hear much.<br />
<br />
When I finally left the building and got out to the parking lot, I felt a sudden strike of terror. I left the fucking HEADLIGHTS on. I was driving my dad's Pathfinder and that big bitch not onlys guzzles gas like a typical Uconn Barwhore with beer *and other things*, but it's drains the battery SO fast. I jump in and know it's far too late to save it. I call AAA and as I wait for someone to come and jump the car, a lady walks by and peers in.<br />
<br />
5 minutes later, she walks past my car again and stops to look at what I'm doing.<br />
<br />
7 min later, she walks out of her office and STARES at me giving me a dirty look.<br />
<br />
<i>You really have to be kidding me.</i><br />
<br />
In my mind, I've already drop kicked her in the teeth and thrown her body out into oncoming traffic, but in reality, I bit my tongue. I was only looking at my MRI images and I had my hood popped. I was also sweating my ass off as I sat in the hot sun so obviously I wasn't making any drug deals and the parking lot had no signs anywhere. If she can't figure it out then fuck her.<br />
<br />
Finally someone from AAA shows up and jumps me within 2 seconds. I wanted to let my battery charge up so I sat for another 15 min.<br />
<br />
This time she decided to charge up to my car and stare once again, STOMPS her foot, and hustles back inside.<br />
<br />
<i>Did I take her dignity away???</i><br />
<br />
After about 13 min of waiting, I began to pull out as a cop pulls up right behind me and glares at me. The bitch came out of her office and smiled as I left. It took every bit of restraint in me not to flip her off.<br />
<br />
Now this is my 3rd run in of any type with the police. I've had my license for 3 years now *it wouldve been 4 but my mother is insane and made me wait until I was 17* and I've never been pulled over, until recently. I was at a party at my friends apartment and I was waiting to give a few drunks a ride home. My mother calls and bitches me out for being irresponsible and wails for me to come home stating that my friends can call their own parents. She calls a few more times and makes sure I leave. At this point, I know the shit will hit the fan by the time I get home so I gun it on RT 8 and get pulled over. The cop comes to my window and asks a few questions. He looks at the passenger seat and sees the calc and engineering books piled on it, my notes all over the place, and I look like the biggest nerd with my glasses and polo shirt on.<br />
<br />
He knows I'm harmless and lets me go without looking up my license, without giving me a warning, and without a ticket. I wanted to stick my tongue in his mouth but that wouldn't be right, he has a gun afterall.<br />
<br />
Also yesterday I got a 15 min speech from a Uconn cop about why I shouldn't park in certain places since he almost ticketed me.<br />
<br />
I don't understand why all of a sudden I'm getting this crap for no reason. Afterall, I volunteer whenever I can, never did any substance, I kiss the communities ass and I STILL GET SHIT LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME.<br />
<br />
Kids, take this as a lesson. One Prudential worker *so far* is stupid and has no life, salad tossing society won't get you shit, and cops are nice most of the time.<br />
<br />
Yup, this post had nothing good to offer you other than me getting pissed off again and my morning ended with me buying soy nuts and then having the same moron ride my ass like Ron Jeremy in a porn from Fairfield into Trumbull.<br />
<br />
ps I hate you.

See boys, you add more estrogen to the site and something about snatches is bound to come up again and this time scrumptious figs are NOT included. And yes, another father makes a ridiculous comment *this time it's my own.* <br />
<br />
Now nearly every female above the age of 18 has braved the initial visit to the gynocologist's office *I can already feel the boys clicking the 'back' button to escape faster than those of Alcatrez*. The visit is uncomfortable, strange, and *for some such as myself* can be completely horrifying. My first visit was simply me being a pain in the ass and keeping my knees pinned together. That's as far as I will go with that bit of information. All I can say is that with the routine checkup, they do a pap smear and eventually mail you the results. It takes about 4 weeks to receive them.<br />
<br />
My first visit was nearly 2 years ago. In the following weeks I had completely forgotten about the test and neglected following up myself. I figured, "hell, if they've mailed, I'll get it sometime." And receive them I did, only thing is, I wasn't the first to check the mail that day...<br />
<br />
Now let's explain something first before I go any further. My parent's are from different countries and their values are beyond your normal 'old fashion' middle aged folks. No. NONONONONONONO! Some ideas to us are normal, but to them, it's like buying a one way ticket to hell. *i.e. like using a tampon would make me the family whore for godsakes ***shudder****. Most Arab males that I know of my father's age and directly from the Middle East know nothing more about vaginas other than if they marry one, they stuff it; if they produce one, they do everything in their power to make sure it's never stuffed. *Someone remind them that sheets don't work.* All in all, my dad knows NOTHING about the gynocology world. <br />
<br />
I get home from a neurologist appointment with my aunt, and my father comes out the front door and embraces me while he says "oh honey, your back will be okay. Your pap smear came out normal." My aunt, flustered with the tedious task of holding in her laughter, slowly evolved into a deep shade of red before letting out a giggle that competed with that of the Javaman character on MadTV. Mortified, I released my hug from my dad and just stared at him in shock as he held up the test results on a postcard sent from my doctor. Upon my mother's arrival home from work, I begged her to explain to him what it all means. Let's just say the poor guy was so embarassed and didn't say anything about it ever again.<br />
<br />
And people wonder why I'm so weird.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Today, I went back there for an appointment and I do believe I shocked the male doctor there. After waiting over an hour, I'm sent to a room where I wait another 20 min. Finally the nurse comes back into the room and informs me that my normal gyno *who is female* is so backed up that it may take another hour. But she does inform me that the male doctor is free and ready to come in so I say it's fine and she sends him in and leaves. <br />
<br />
Now, being there once again makes me feel so goddamn dirty and constantly being asked if I'm pregnant gets a bit annoying. After repeatedly stating that the Immaculet Conception is not going ot occur anytime soon, they pick up on it and let it be. This guy was decent about it and saw how squirmish I already was so he sat AWAY from me. When the time came for the actual examination, I was supposed to sit ont he table. He informs me that if I'm extremely uncomfortable, he can have a nurse come in as well to sit down with me. Being the asshole that I am, I reply:<br />
<br />
"Oh that's alright. I have my mace in my bookbag if I have a problem" <br />
<br />
He immediately pardoned himself and left the room. Five seconds later, I hear an erruption of laughter and he comes back in the door with the nurse that was there previously. She was near tears and he still looked hesitant. Nevertheless, I walked out 15 min later perfectly fine and as I walked by her station, she turned to me "that was the funniest thing that's happened here in awhile."<br />
<br />
I had actually managed to be a threat physically to a 230lb grown man while I was merely making a joke. Intimidation just sneaks up on me when I don't even expect it; this anger streak is out of control.

The classy reactions to my previous post:::<br />
<br />
<br />
SPug17: oh my god<br />
<br />
i love pinkerton: humorous side note, there's a fig tree in my backyard. i eat them all the time.<br />
<br />
chen0r: lol<br />
<br />
c6nN0Nb67L: haha<br />
c6nN0Nb67L: thats pretty funny<br />
<br />
Squiggln48: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA<br />
Squiggln48: that just made my day<br />
<br />
BDusty098: i like figs<br />
<br />
miscidiot: lol<br />
miscidiot: i love eating pussy<br />
<br />
FriekyD: hahaha<br />
ispfemme: that completely cracked me up<br />
FriekyD: it'd be even funnier if i knew him<br />
ispfemme: he's a quiet italian kid that looks and sounds like a mexican<br />
ispfemme: and wears geeky glasses<br />
FriekyD: hrmm oh<br />
ispfemme: its jsut the funniest set up<br />
FriekyD: i actually eat figs every day<br />
<br />
ShadowsFall 140: haha that first conversation is amazing<br />
<br />
<br />
ear parcel 4: hahahahahahaha!<br />
ear parcel 4: oh my god<br />
<br />
Mibric: haha<br />
<br />
dublxthink: i dont like figs... i dont think ive ever had one <br />
*later*<br />
ispfemme: damn italians<br />
dublxthink: seriously<br />
<br />
cdarthschrader: mmkay<br />
ispfemme: you don't find it funny?!<br />
cdarthschrader: yes i do!<br />
ispfemme: dick!!<br />
cdarthschrader: blah!<br />
cdarthschrader: i'm just being a smart ass<br />
<br />
PhallicMephisto: hehehe that's great.<br />
PhallicMephisto: I never would have made that connection.<br />
PhallicMephisto: *shudder*<br />
<br />
Markovsky: lol<br />
<br />
OptimusRhymeX: Whoa.<br />
OptimusRhymeX: I've been eating the wrong figs.<br />
<br />
BrandonisStalin: figs huh?<br />
BrandonisStalin: i'll have to check them out<br />
<br />
<br />
Xlance uppercutX: oh jeebus...that's funny as hell...and awkward<br />
<br />
ZitoRoyale: wtf is with the fig post<br />
<br />
AND MY FAVORITE REACTION!!!<br />
<br />
orbwtf: sounds like my dad alright<br />
*later*<br />
orbwtf: i think i was there whil emy dad said it<br />
ispfemme: yeah he said that<br />
ispfemme: how didyou react?<br />
orbwtf: hahah....i knew where it was going from the start<br />
orbwtf: oh when my dad said it?<br />
ispfemme: yeah<br />
orbwtf: i think i just laughed. it's typical guido-douche dad comment haha<br />
<br />
<br />
I love my friends, I can't say it enough.

I cooled off for now but if it is fueled again this goes back up again.

Third time my post was erased. Rot in hell Afeared. This is the one thing that will prevent me from becoming one of THOSE Arabs::<br />
<br />
<br />
Carletto7: you like figs?<br />
Carletto7: fresh figs, I don't think I will ever be able to eat one<br />
ispfemme: heh<br />
ispfemme: my parents get them all the time<br />
Carletto7: yeah, my dad has fig trees in Italy<br />
Carletto7: I mean they are sort of good, but something about them<br />
Carletto7: ehh, plus what my dad said, huhuhuhuhuh<br />
ispfemme: yeah<br />
ispfemme: maybe it's cause they were in his yard<br />
ispfemme: the association soured the taste<br />
Carletto7: haha<br />
Carletto7: maybe<br />
Carletto7: eh, he was eating one and he asked me a real father-son questoin<br />
Carletto7: haha, nevermind<br />
ispfemme: what was it?<br />
Carletto7: haha, I don't know, I hate it<br />
ispfemme: hmm<br />
ispfemme: you'll tellm e oneday<br />
Carletto7: "Carlo, have you ever eaten pussy?"<br />
Carletto7: "uh, no dad."<br />
ispfemme: OH MY GOD<br />
ispfemme: ARE YOU SERIOUS!?<br />
ispfemme: AHAHAHAHA<br />
Carletto7: "oh, it'sa like eating a fig"<br />
Carletto7: and that is the reason I don't eat figs<br />
<br />
Thank you Carlo, you made my day.